Momma’s Monday Memo: If You Woke Up Tired, It’s Not You—It’s the Mental Load

Hey momma—welcome to Monday. If your coffee is working harder than you are, same.
Before the week gets loud, come sit with me for a second.

If you woke up already tired today, it’s not because you’re doing something wrong.
It’s because your mind has already been working overtime—before your feet even hit the floor.

The Mental Load No One Prepares Moms For

Of all the things I was “warned” of when becoming a momma, the invisible mental load was not on the list. 
It’s not just the doing that’s exhausting —it’s the remembering.
For everyone. 

Appointments.
Snacks.
Favorites.
Schedules.
Shopping list. 
The location of every single item in the house.  

(Cue my Fiancé: “ Babe, have you seen my [insert item that’s staring him in the face]?”)  

What everyone needs next.
Planning ten steps ahead at all times.
Vacation with kids?  I’ve never created so many made up scenarios in my life.
Do we end up using it all?  Absolutely not, less than half.
And do those scenarios make everything we bring a necessity? Yup, don’t bother trying to tell me otherwise.

Do you think dads do that? 
No mam, most of them can’t even locate their own belongings to pack.
The mental load of motherhood is heavy because it never shuts off. 
Even when your body rests, your mind keeps working.
For a lot of us, on overdrive.

And when moms feel overwhelmed before the day even begins, it’s usually because we’ve already done hours of invisible work.
There is no PTO in this line of work.
And we’re certainly not getting overtime. 

Let’s Say the Quiet Part Out Loud

You’re not disorganized.
You’re not bad at time management. (or maybe you are but that’s still not why you’re running on fumes)

You’re managing the lives of multiple humans—and that’s a lot.
The problem isn’t that you can’t handle it.
It’s that you shouldn’t have to handle it all alone.

This world today was not made for us.
It was made for men, by men.
We are a last thought, or really no thought, in workplace policies.
Everything is astronomically expensive and yet here we are still paying for our feminine products.
No one person was supposed to be working, running a household, and caring for the kids all without the village we’d heard about or grew up seeing.

It’s not you, Mama.
It’s the system.

Let’s Reframe This Gently

What if your overwhelm isn’t a personal failure—but a signal?
A signal that you’re carrying too much.
A signal that something needs support, not discipline.
A signal that it’s time to put down the things that are no longer serving you.

You don’t need to prove how capable you are.
Your worth is not tied to your capabilities.  

You are already worthy of peace.

We are not made to be perfect.
We are not made to do it all. 
You deserve a quieter mind. 

A Note to Carry Into This Week

If today feels heavy, it’s because you’re holding a lot.
Be gentle with yourself.
You’re not failing—you’re carrying more than most people see.
There are no prerequisites for peace and rest. 

Take care of yourself, Momma.  
Until next week, 
I see you. I love you. I’m proud of you.
XO – Sam 

💛 Want to Keep Reading?

This post is part of Momma’s Monday Memos, a weekly encouragement series for moms navigating the mental load of motherhood.
You can find all the memos [here].